Sunday, 27 May 2012
I just wanted to share this story with you it is from one of my clients that I coached many years ago he sent me this so I could pass it on to anyone who perhaps has lived a similar story.
How drug's consumed my life
My name is Phil I am 32 years old,I was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia a few years ago and When I push the rewind button on my life it all becomes clearer. As a child at school I would watch my classmates writing and think "why do I feel so different". I would look at the empty page and wonder, what I was supposed to be doing.
I would get in trouble for not listening or doing any work told to sit still and stop fidgeting. Secondary school was even worse, lots of different classroom, teachers,not remembering what lesson I had next, taking the right books, pens and remembering p.e. Kits etc was all beyond me.
I felt nobody know what I was feeling in side.I become the class clown which was a big cover up for the way I was feeling. I was 13, could barely read or write, I could not even tell the time, did not understand most of the math's techniques used, I new that I was not stupid if anything I was cleverer in many way's.
I'd play up in class and get thrown-out in order to avoid having to read.
I would wag the lessons I found most difficult, "I hated school and couldn't wait to leave ".
I was always in trouble and got the blame for everything whether it was me or not, my nickname was the trouble magnet. I eventually left school and thought it would be great, little did I know that things would become much worse.
I constantly felt bored with everything I did, I always felt like a caged lion pacing a round not able to get satisfaction or contentment from anything. I never felt relaxed, I would flit from job-to-job because I'd get bored or get the sack anyway, time past and I ended up one the dole.
I met some new mates how invited me round to there gaff, when I got there they were all smoking a draw and offered me some, so I tried it, it was a wicked feeling, the discontentment and boredom was gone. OK, at first it made me as sick as a dog, but I could still feel the effects.
I couldn't believe it I could sit and watch a film, have a deep conversation without getting bored and best of all I could chill-out and relax for the first time in my life.
Years past still on the draw I now lived with my girlfriend and my 5-year-old child. If I had a job to go to and felt a bit rough from being stoned the night before I'd nick a wiz to get me through the day.
Life for me and my girlfriend felt so down we'd even spent our child's birthday money on drugs.
The house was full of people smoking bong's and joints,our home was no fit place for a child. We had no patience or time for the child; we were to busy getting stoned.
The relationship between my partner and me had been over for a few years, I knew the only way to give-up the draw and wiz was to leave.
I want to live at my parent's house; it was pretty lonely, as my social life was gone. My ex mates were still draw-hands and weren't interested in me, as I was now a straight- head. Months of depression past, I was completely free of the need of a joint or a wiz.
I got a job and life was sweet. I eventually met a woman who fully understood me, we were best friends. Life was great and my new girlfriend taught me to read and write she got me see a psychiatrist because I was so hyperactive with concentration and impulse difficulties.
The psychiatrist diagnosed me as having A.D.H.D AND DYSLEXIA I felt I had the answer for a lot of my difficulties.After several appointments I stared on medication (DEXANPHETAMINE) which worked well until I felt a bit low and decided I would take a few more that day, before I new it I was taking them like smarties.
To me it felt like taking a wiz again, before I new it I was taking wiz and smoking a draw. I felt my life had spiralled out of control. My girlfriend tried to help me but I felt I could not help myself and she left.
My life at that time was hell-on-earth I had nothing, no house .No money, no possessions as I had sold all my descent stuff to get a draw or wiz. I went as far as turning to crime and ended up inside.
After serving my time I rejoined the world. I no longer use drugs and life continues with its ups and downs. I've lost my girlfriend although she still gives me support.
I feel I've finally seen a light at the end of the tunnel, I've taken my time to get there, but I have really learnt by my mistakes. I decided to get professional help through coaching and learn to manage and except my A.D.H.D. Medication is not for me.
I would like to say to anyone who can relate to my life, " I wish you all the very best with your future", if you have are reading this story now I know you will receive the best help and support you can possibly get.